All Clear; Balance

As promised, I'm writing with an update. I know I keep apologizing for not having been here much, but life has been busy. My mother has been terribly ill, in and out of the hospital, and I've been caring for her while at the same time reacquainting myself with life. It's good to be here.

My dear oncologist, Dr. Raefsky, sent me for scans a few weeks ago and with everyone's breath held, we welcomed the news that the scans are clear. I had a hard time digesting that news. After over a year of heavy duty schedules and care, it seems surreal to be able to let up and just enjoy life. Dr. Raefsky was kind enough to let me know right away, not making me wait the several days until my appointment, to hear the news. Again, I am very grateful to have a doctor like him. He is kind, caring, and also brilliant. One cannot ask for a better combination of traits in a doctor when they are going through cancer treatment. Thank you, Dr. Raefsky.

Once the news was back, I let out my breath. It's hard to believe that 2009 is almost over, coming to a close. I've found myself still living in 2008, still digesting all that happened to me. 2010 will be here before I know it, and perhaps then I can catch up with myself, embrace it, and actually be here now, in the present moment.

I've done quite a bit since receiving the 'all clear,' and some of it I did too soon. One thing I didn't do too soon, was enjoy the martini celebration with my dear, sweet bosses at work. It was nice to raise a glass with them, toasting to my health, and I am also very grateful for them and their patience, as they understood each and every time I had to leave early to rearrange schedules in order to keep doctor appointments. My office has been nothing short of incredible in their support. Once again, I am so grateful.

Two weeks ago I traveled with my friend Maribeth to the Shambhala Mountain Center in Denver to attend a 3 day seminar with one of my favorite authors, Gary Zukav. It was wonderful, but this was the thing I did too soon. Hiking a mile in the heat, crude (sort of) accommodations, and food that did not marry well with my ostomy needs made it a little hectic and trying to be there, and I have some neuropathy in my hands and feet since doing that. I overdid it, and I'm trying to go a little slower now. All in all, though, it was worth it, and the setting was beautiful.

Last night I attended the Bill Clinton speech for Jackson Day at the Renaissance hotel, and was able to hear in person Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Harold Ford, Jr. It was awesome, and the energy in the room was incredible. I had such a wonderful time, and Maribeth accompanied me. Thanks to my boss, Scott, for making our attendance possible.

I will probably not be posting as much or as often as I have in the past. I'm honestly not even sure how many still read this blog! Quite frankly, I want a break from cancer, even though it seems so many around me are being newly diagnosed with cancer every day. I have five years to see if the cancer will return in any form and in any place in my body. I'm trying to focus on good times, friends -- life.

I will, however, be posting informative articles here, and ways you can stave off cancer -- don't forget to filter your water! Inexpensive filtering systems can be found at Target, Wal Mart -- a number of places. Do it. I promise you'll be glad. Don't forget to do the exams your doctor recommends and, really, even if they don't recommend them! Take charge of your health. It's the best thing you can do for yourself.

As I've said before, my family, friends, co-workers, and complete strangers have been my blanket of care throughout my journey with cancer. I am so incredibly grateful, and I have learned from all of you how to better be there for others in need. Thank you for teaching me a fine way to be. I promise, I won't let you down.

So, it's onward and upward from here. I'm back leading meditation full time now and enjoying being in the company of my Circle of Friends I care for so dearly.

Life is good. It is indeed good. Don't waste a moment. I certainly don't plan to waste a single moment. I'm all clear, and one thing I've learned in walking this path is that it is all about balance.

Love, Tanya